Family Stories
Joan Comes to CA
By the time the War ended, Vincent was hardly working. His diabetes and related health problems were getting worse. His doctors warned Vincent that the New York winters were going to kill him if he stayed there. So the family made plans to move out to CA.
Ralph, Bette, Alice, and Del were already out there. In fact, they had sent some of their more fragile items with Del when he drove out earlier. They shipped some stuff, but it was a bare bones move. Joan doesn't remember much of the bus ride out. Mostly she was busy taking care of her father.
When they arrived, Ralph and Bette were waiting for them. They had rented a house in Highland Park (somewhat close to where Ralph was going to college) that had a smaller 2 bedroom house behind it. Louise was 19. She had been able to attend her first year of college in New York, but there was no money now, so Louise got a job.
Joan was 17 and only 6 months from high school graduation in New York. Dutifully, a few days later she walked over to the local high school to register. To her shock she found out that since she was a transfer from New York there were several more classes she had to take. The 6 months had stretched to an additional year and a half. This was not at all what Joan had in mind. She asked about alternatives and found out about night school and the GED exam.
To Joan's surprise, her mother refused to let Joan go to night school. Ruth was adamant about Joan doing the year and a half of classes. Ruth's stand never did make sense to Joan. Joan tended to be a very easy going person, but this was one of her lines in the sand. Ruth insisted, Joan refused.
Furious, Joan took to bus to her older sister Alice's house. At this time Alice and Murray had 2 small children and a 3rd on the way. After listening to Joan, Alice came up with a mutually beneficial solution. Alice offered Joan room and board is she would help with chores and childcare when Joan wasn't at work or at school. Joan would have to share her room with the new baby (Colleen) when she came, but Joan felt that was easier than sharing a room with her sister Louise. Deal!
Within days, Joan was living with Alice - to Ruth's amazement. It worked well. Due to their age difference, Joan had not had a chance to get to know her oldest sister before this. They formed a friendship that lasted the rest of their lives. Joan learned how to get along with Murray.
Back in New York, due to Ruth's insistence, Joan was not in a college prep high school program. Ruth insisted that Joan learn secretarial skills so she would be able to support herself. What Joan really wanted to do was to become a nurse, like her mom, but that didn't happen. But her high school bookkeeping was useful. In a very short time she had a job in downtown Los Angeles. Her primary employer was the Burroughs company. Since she didn't drive, she took the bus every day.
Joan took her final high school classes in night school. And then took and passed her GED. When Burroughs offered additional bookkeeping classes on their new machines, she took those. She didn't stop there. She continued to take night school classes in a variety of topics for most of her adult life.
She had a social life too. Her brother Ralph was going to college, but still played in bands, mostly on weekends. Quite often she would hang out with Bette, eventually ending up at the club Ralph was playing at. Ralph always made it a point to announce that his "baby sister" had arrived. Joan didn't have any problems with the guys in the band. In fact, they protected her and teased her like a kid sister.
Joan began dating. They were mostly simple dates, but sometimes she would go with a date to the club Ralph was playing at. She did like to dance. Joan always warned her dates not to dance too close to the band. She knew that bunch of jokers were likely to embarrass her and her date. Mom told me about one time a date disregarded her request about the band. Sure enough, the guys spotted her. Not only did the guys in the band make comments about Baby Sister Dating, the also had the spotlights on mom. That was the last date with that guy! My own children sometimes tease Joan about going clubs when she was underage.
One of the men mom dated worked at a used car lot. He would pick Joan up in a different car every time. She had to stop dating him when people started talking about how she was dating a different man every night!
Joan was busy, but enjoying herself. She had her "girls nights" with Alice where they would sew, iron, or just relax with a new magazine, maybe some chocolates, or even a bottle of beer. She indulged in her desire for new things by working at a poling place during an election.
But what about Louise? Well, after Joan moved out their mother Ruth began trying to get Louise to help with Vincent. Not Louise's idea of fun. But she worked and made new friends in CA. Eventually she found her ticket out from under mom, in the form of a man named Paul who was studying to be a high school chemistry teacher. They married when Louise was 23. Wisely, Paul had gained his teaching credential by then and took a job in Bakersfield, just far enough away to keep Ruth out of his hair. It was a successful marriage.
Joan hadn't met her Mr. Right yet, but he was right around the corner. In fact, he would be riding the bus very soon.
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