Momma Sandy Says - Teaching your Children How to become Adults

Momma Sandy Says

Teaching Your Children How to Become Adults, Part 2

   I made a long list last week about teaching your children how to become adults.  Now it's time to take a closer look at some of the topics.

A.  Understanding money.  At a pretty young age kids can start to learn about money.  Giving your children money that they can spend can take many forms.  Note that there is a difference between money that your children need to pay their expenses and money you gave your children for their own choices.

   Often this money is call an allowance.  Sometimes it's just given, sometimes it has to be earned.  In my family it was given until I was almost a teenager.  Then it was renamed a salary and specific chores were tied to me earning it.  Many families make a way for their children to earn extra money as well.

   In any event, this money belongs to your child.  They will need to be taught how to wisely spend it.  Young children do not understand the concept of saving money to buy something larger.  You can help them learn.  Children (of all ages seemingly) do not understand the concept of sales tax.  As someone who has worked retail, please teach them!

  It will take time, but children can learn what money is and what it will buy.  Eventually, with work they can learn wise spending habits.  If they don't learn it from you, then where will they learn it?

B.  Credit.  There ought to be a game somewhere that teaches the concepts of credit.  It would involve buying things on credit (with sales tax!) and having to pay that money back.  Or the option of saving the money and buying all at once.  The game would have to include some sort of income, maybe a salary of some sort.  It should exist.

   When teaching your children about the wise usage of credit, don't forget to teach them the dangers.  Included in that, teach them how easy it is to buy things online.

C.  How to balance a checkbook.  This is something else that should be part of a game.  In real life, emphasize that everything should get written down.

D.  Voting.  Schools should be teaching the nuts and bolts of state and federal government stuff.  You should make sure your kids understand the concepts of county and city government and how they work.  Include your children in discussions of various issues.  Respect their opinions.  Encourage them to research issues.  Now if your child suddenly informs you that they think Hitler had the right idea and he's joining a skinhead gang, then you have a whole different set of problems to deal with.  But if you've been teaching them responsibility then that shouldn't happen.

E.  Driving.  Driving is a privilege, not a right.  Personally I think new drivers, especially teen should have to share the family car for a while.  And share the expense (like gas, keeping it clean, etc.).  Encourage them to buy or help buy their first car.  It will mean a lot more to them that way.    Even at a young age you can be teaching your children the rules of the road.  Of course, that means you have to model good driving yourself.

F.  Taking care of their own medical needs.  As parents we are very hands on about our children's health.  However, in order for them to transition to adulthood, they do have to be able to handle their own medical needs at some point.  Here's my ideas:

   1.  Teach them about regular dental care.  Not just proper teeth brushing, but also about seeing the dentist.  You should probably be modeling this.  Feel free to use as examples, people they know with bag teeth due to poor oral hygiene.

   2.  Teach them the importance of regular doctor visits (maintenance) and flu shots, etc.

   3.  Model and teach them when they should go to the doctors.

   4.  Teach them that it's important to keep medical records.

   5.  Train them to take vitamins daily.  Teaching this pattern of behavior should make it easier for them to remember to take prescription medications later.

   6.  Help them, as it's appropriate to take care of their own medical needs.  Help them to know when to go to you.  Help the asthmatic child to use their inhaler properly (and to tell you when they do).  A child with diabetes can learn to take and record their blood sugar levels (and to tell you when they are levels you should know about), etc.

G.  Care of cars.  Here's a list of stuff I thought important

   1.  Cars do not magically stay in pristine condition.  They have to be maintained and it's not free.

   2.  Cars have to be insured.  That is the law in most places.  Make sure your new drivers understand what the insurance is for and that it has to be paid on a regular basis.  Even if you are paying the insurance at first, they will be paying it at some point.

   3.  Cars need to be kept clean - inside and out.

   4.  All cars need regular maintenance.  That includes oil changes and keeping an eye on water levels.

   5.  Use the gas recommended for the vehicle.  Using a gas with a lower octane level than recommended by the manufacturer can result in engine damage eventually.

   6.  Keep the tires healthy.  Keep the air pressure where it should be.  If you live in a part of the world where it snows enough, change to snow tires when appropriate and learn to drive with them safely.

H.  Dealing with banks.    Again, here's my thoughts:

   1.  Thought there are a lot of different kinds of accounts out there, your young adult will mostly be dealing with checking and savings accounts at first.  Help them to understand the difference between the two and the rules for each.

   2.  Remember, electronic transactions do not always transfer immediately!

   3.  Your kids should understand that their bank accounts need to be kept in balance.  At least monthly.   Use the paper checkbook worksheet.  It's a good way to keep track of your transactions.  By all means, use the electronic means of checking, but the paper copy is a very good backup.

   4.  When using the paper back up, write down your transactions as they occur.  Forgetting is a bad idea.

   5.  Your bank will probably make a mistake or two with your accounts.  That's another reason to keep a paper copy of your transactions.  Be polite when you talk to bank officials about the mistake.  Have your pertinent paperwork ready.  Be prepared to lose.

   Two topics I chose to tackle another time is that of Household stuff, and Moving out for the first time.  I'll handle both of them in more details later.