Momma Sandy Says - Teaching your Children How to become Adults

Momma Sandy Says

Teaching Your Children How to Become Adults.

   I think I've stated it before that I think the goal of parenting is to raise your children so that by the time they are 18 years old they are ready to step into the adult world.  In addition I want my children to be good people with a strong sense of right and wrong and personal honor.

   But how do you get there?  This really is a process.  It's a combination of character traits, motor skills, and life skills.  We've talked about character traits in a previous blog.  As the parent you have to model them.  The primary place your kids learn the character traits you want them to have, is from you.  Motor skills ranging from learning how to walk to learning the skills needed to drive a car.  Learn what the norms are for learning those skills.  Then find out at what point your child needs to be checked if there are delays.

      I want to add in here a bit about teaching your children responsibility.  It's a big theme of mine.  The earlier a child can learn that his or her choices have consequences the better off they are.  And that the consequences of their choices can effect others beyond themselves.

Lastly there are life skills.  What are they and when should your child be learning them?  The simple answer is that they are the skills your child needs to function in the adult world.  A better way to explain is to make a list.

1.  Understanding money.  Especially the fact that it doesn't grow on trees.

2.  How to wisely use credit.  Understanding the good and bad about electronic media and money.

3.  How to balance a check book.

4.  How to plan a budget.  And how to adjust it as needed, safely.

5.  Understanding how local, state, and federal government work beyond what is taught in school.  What does voting really mean and why is it so important?

6.  The knowledge as well as the motor skills needed to drive a car (or truck, or motorcycle, or boat, etc.).

7.  Household skills - this is a huge one.  This includes everything from cleaning everything in an apartment or house, to fixing stuff, to surviving living with others, cooking, meal planning, shopping, the list goes on for a while.  What does your child need to know to move out?

8.  Speaking of which, what do they need to know about starting service with various utility companies?  How should they deal with them when they have problems?

9.  Taking care of their own medical needs.

10.  How to look for, apply, and get a job.  And what to do once they have it?

11.  Renting an apartment and dealing with landlords.  Once they have more money, the adult version is "what to know about buying a house."

12.  cars - buying new or used, care of, insurance, etc.

13. Dealing with banks.

14.  Dealing with the government.  This includes taxes.

15.  The first pay check and where so much of the money goes.

   This is not a complete list, but it's a good start.  Due to our changing world, some of it will change as time goes on.  When do you teach this stuff?  That varies.  Some of it you can't teach until they're ready.  The first paycheck is a good example of that.  Some of it happens in teachable moments.  Close to an election is a good time to talk about the issues, when they're ready.  If a family car breaks down, then may be a good time to talk about how to deal with that.  And you can teach more than one child at a time.  You may have to give a refresher to a younger child, but the initial exposure will help with the process.

  Make the learning fun if you can.  Some of the skills, especially cooking can be taught at an early age.  I think, in the next few weeks I'll talk about some of the life skills and what I've learned about teaching them.