Family Stories - Joan and Her Siblings

Family Stories

Joan and Her Siblings

     I've been thinking quite a bit about Mom (Joan) and her relationships with her siblings.  Joan was the youngest of 7.  There was about 2 years between each child.  Alice was the oldest.  She was in high school when Joan was born.

   Joan and her next older sister were born on the farm, the rest in the family home on Staten Island, Borough of Richmond, New York City.  Alice finished high school in the nearby town of Greene, and then went to College.  There was still a little bit of the family money at that point (even though the farm was probably already loosing money at that point), so there was enough for one child to go on to college.  The problem was that Ralph, brilliant Ralph, graduated high school two years early, with Alice.  It was finally decided that Alice should go.  Ralph already had a job as a professional musician.  It would be easier for him to finance his own way through school once he was ready to go.

   I suspect both Alice and Ralph saw this as their ticket to freedom.  Freedom from the never ending work of the farm.  Free from always have to help care for younger siblings.  Free from never ending housework.  Alice went to a college a decent distance from home.  To help pay her way she boarded with a family during the school year.  During the summer she worked at a Tupper Lake resort.  So really, she was only home during the Christmas holiday.  Ralph moved down to New York City.  He came home more often.

   Since her two older siblings were mostly gone, Joan spent her time with the others.  She could have been friends with her sister, Louise, but that was a difficult relationship.  Since Joan's birth,  Louise had been told to take care of Joan.  Louise took that seriously.  It became a lifelong pattern.  Louise and Marion, the next oldest sister were on-again-off-again friends.  When Louise and Marion were getting along Louise would shut Joan out of the relationship.  When those two were on the outs, Joan got to spend time with Marion, who she genuinely liked.

   Joan adored her older brothers.  They weren't bossy like Louise and let her tag along with them sometimes.  One of my favorite stories was one Everett and Mom told.  Ev wanted to go hunting (they needed the meat), but it wasn't the season and they couldn't afford the tags anyway.  Knowing there was a good chance of the game warden showing up he took Joan with him.  She was good company and would help as needed.  Sure enough, soon after Everett had successfully shot some game they heard the sound of a truck coming.  They stashed the game and kept walking.  The game warden stopped them, asking Everett if he had been out hunting?  Everett asked, "Would I do that with my baby sister with me?"  Joan gave the official her best innocent baby sister look.  The game warden let them go.  The two laughed all the way home.  Everett got the game later that day.  Everett spent some time working for the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps).  He got away from the farm and was able to send a little money home.

  When Joan was 8 the family finally lost the farm and moved back to Staten Island.  Due to their reduced financial circumstances they didn't move back to the wealthier Granitville area of before.  Instead they rented a run down house in the Mariners Harbor section.  There was a shipyard just down the street where Joan's dad was able to find work.  Del worked there too.  Since his motorcycle accident Del was permanently mentally around 17.  So shipyard work worked well for him.  Marion started high school and first met the man who was to become the love of her life.  Even Louise was happier.  On Staten Island there were many, many more people living close by.  She soon developed a close circle of friends.

  Not having the huge amounts of work, the whole family had free time.  Joan's mom became a girl scout leader for Louise and Joan.  Ruth was also working outside the home now, mostly housecleaning.  Eventually she worked her way into nursing.  Everyone worked (except for Louise).  Joan ran errands for neighbors at first, but as soon as she could, she was babysitting.

   1941 their world changed.  On December 7th Mom Ruth was visiting relatives in upstate New York with Everett, who was on shore leave.  All shore leaves were cancelled and Everett had to return to his military unit.

   Alice was out of school at this point teaching.  She had fallen in love, but her fiancee died in the middle of the Atlantic when a Natzi sub sunk the transport.  Ralph had new music opportunities out in California (plus a chance to go to college), so Alice decided to go with Ralph and his bride, Bette.

   With the war Everett was gone.  Marion moved in with her fiancees family.  On his first leave Marion got married.  To support herself Marion went to beauty college.  Joan's mom was still very strict.  She didn't let Joan get her hair done by Marion very often.  Especially not after Marion used the new Permanent machine.  Despite that, Joan and Marion had developed a close relationship.

   Moving to CA when Joan was 17 changed relationships again.  Joan had always gotten along well with Ralph, now she had a chance to develop an adult relationship with him.  The same thing happened with Alice, especially after moving in with her.

   Joan had good relationships with all her siblings.  I suspect it had something to do with the fact that she has always been a sweet, hardworking, loving person.