Mamma Sandy Says - Birthdays and Your Kids

Mamma Sandy Says

Birthdays and Your Kids

   It's your child's birthday!  What would make this a memorable day for them?  What are your family traditions concerning birthdays?    There are a lot of options of things you can do for them.    Parties, visit to a theme park, special events, all are possible.  

   A lot of things to think about when you're planning.  The time of year, your budget, which birthday it is, all are part of the planning process.  When I was a kid I was usually given a choice, a birthday party or or a special event.  Since my birthday is in August and it was hard to get school friends to come to a party, I usually chose going to Disneyland.

   A simple party is one of the easiest things.  The birthday person, some friends, some decorations, some food and punch, plus some games.  But a modern birthday somehow doesn't stay simple.  The age of your child has a lot to do with what goes on.  Is it going to be a party for just family, just friends, or a mix of family and friends?  When your child gets older, two separate events might work better.  

   Themed parties seem to work well.  Especially if it works with the budget.  But the most important thing is what your child wants.  If their desires are too expensive, help them to understand the budget.  Watch the expenses.  Save the bounce house for a milestone birthdays.

   Taking the birthday child to a theme park can be expensive.  It may be too expensive to take the whole family.  But a parent or two plus the birthday child and a friend?  That's a special time.

   Theme parks aren't the only special event option.  If your child's wishes are specific, then work with that theme.  Some ideas:  New movie plus themed party with child's friends.  Horseback riding plus picnic (this one worked really well for my daughter's birthday).  Beach/pool/river/lake  trip with food and friends.  Baseball/football/soccer/hockey game  with a few friends.  Possibly even a trip to a Civil War event or a Renaissance faire.  As your children get older the options grow.

Here are some things to think about:

   Try to be aware of special needs of your child(ren) and their guests.  Do any of them need a special diet?  Any allergies (especially peanut allergies).  My daughter discovered an allergy to bell peppers late in her teens.  A serious throw-up-for-several-days type of allergy.  Allergies like that you as host really need to know about.  Do they have any other special needs?  Plan for it!

   Be flexible about your plans.  Anything outdoors can be affected by weather.  Plan for it!

   Going to be on vacation or out of town while your child has a birthday?  Again, the magic words - Plan for it!  Pack some presents and some decorations in a suitcase where they won't be easily found.  Make the child's day special!

   Twins, or children with the same birthday?  You can celebrate together for a while.  I'm going to recommend one cake per child-even if they are small.  Each child needs to feel special.  And while I'm here, putting children's birthday events together because the dates are close only work if they're too young to notice, they agree ahead of time that it's ok, or they're adults.  Sharing a birthday, as a kid is not particularly fun.  If you're a twin (or triplet) you don't have much choice.  But be warned, that once multiple birth kids get older they will probably want different ways to to celebrate their birthdays.

   Have a child with a birthday near Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years?  This is really important-don't let the holiday celebrations interfere with their birthday!  Make it really, really clear that their birthday is separate from the holidays!  

   Some people I know in this category celebrate their half birthday during the summer instead.  In my family, I have a child with a November 30th birthday.  Right after Thanksgiving, in the heart of the early Christmas stuff.  I think he'd change it if he could.  What we decided to do was to postpone all Christmas decorating in our house (and I love to decorate for Christmas!) until Dec. 1st.  We celebrate his birthday, then Christmas explodes in my house.  It's my way of letting him know that I view him and his birth as being more important than the celebration of Christmas.  Work out what is best for you.

   Another problem with holiday birthdays is that people tend to only give the child one gift.  Not cool!  My dad even had to deal with that and his birthday was Jan. 14th!  It may not be possible to train family (though you can try), but at least you can lead by example.  Even if your child has her birthday on Christmas, she gets a birthday and a Christmas present.  The exception to this rule usually applies when the child is older-some bigger presents need to be Christmas/birthday.  But that needs to be understood ahead of time.  And a small, second present should also happen.

   Although it's not common, sometimes birthdays happen during times of stress and grieving.  Really young children may not really understand what is going on.  The total lack of birthday can give a wrong signal.  If it's possible, help your child to have a happy birthday, possibly in a more low key manner.

   And finally, don't forget the cake!  And it needs to be a cake they like. Ask the birthday kid.  And remember.  I know someone who asked for a green cake with purple frosting.  And got it.  He asked for that particular combination because he knew that it was off-putting enough to keep his siblings from eating all of it.  And if you can't get a cake, get a fancy cupcake for the birthday person.  The rest of the family can eat cookies!  And don't forget the milk.

   Happy Birthdays!