Momma Sandy Says
Computer, Gaming, Etc.
I decided to break this down by category. There are two major things to remember about this topic. 1. Your goal is to raise good citizens, people you are proud to have been a part of. 2. As a parent, you have a say in how all this goes. You are in charge, not them.
Computers - Limit access. Your children will see you (and most everyone) on the computer. Possibly a lot. They will want to do this too. There are some good programs out there at almost every age and developmental level, but I need to speak some words of caution. Do you really want your children to become addicted to computers at an early age? Yes, they need to learn the skills, but they also need to spend time outside with others. There needs to be balance. Besides, do you really want them developing carpal tunnel too early?
Limit access to the programs your children access. Keep them from unlimited access to the internet until they are ready for it. Developmental games are good, mostly.
Here's a thought. Don't put a computer in your child's room until they are mature enough for it. We kept the family computer in our front room for many years. If our kids wanted to use it, they could, but they also knew that what was on the screen we could see too.
Use parental controls, but us them wisely. I am not a fan of spyware on your own kids, especially the keystroke versions. That really shows a lack of trust to your kids. There may be circumstances (drug use, etc.) that might warrant it, but I would have to think on that one.
Think about figuring a way to keep your family computer off after you go to bed. My own kids got by us on that one.
And please, please, please, use your brains about letting your children use the newest form of social media. If they are minors, tell them that you will be monitoring their posts/tweets, etc. And do it. You may be shocked by what they post, but it's better to know. Deal with those problems calmly and sensibly.
Telephones - I do believe that it is important for a child over the age of 10 to have a cell phone. Younger than that they should be with someone older. Who should have a phone. I think that younger children should have contact phone numbers on them. I'm not fond of the thing about writing the phone number on a kids arm. I'll save my rant about teaching kids not to go to authority figures when lost for another time.
One of the reasons why I like kids, especially young teen to have cell phones is that it takes away many the excuses when they are missing curfew. And it's a way to escape from potentially dangerous situations. "Hello mom? Can you come get me?" Always glad to.
However, I do not believe that kids, including teens need the latest I phone, or whatever is the newest technology in communication. If it's still possible to get them, I think a very simple cell phone is perfect. I'm ok with the phone having email access, sat nav, weather, etc. Maybe ok with a camera. I'm not ok with internet, especially social media for kids. And not ok with games. Use parental i phones for that, as needed. It's not necessary, and they probably get in trouble with it.
When your children are mature enough for an i phone (or whatever) make sure your kids understand some guidelines. Let them know that you will be checking the photos on their phones. Privacy be damned. Until they are 18 you are responsible for the results of their actions. Use parental controls. And keep up with what their technology can do!
Game systems - Consider keeping the game systems in the family room. This may interfere with your ability to watch tv, or whatever, but wait, you're the parent. You should be setting limits on gaming anyway. Due to the addictive nature of the games (and you know that as well), if the game consoles are in their bedrooms they will be up all hours of the night, playing. Remember to disable the gaming systems after you go to bed as well.
Watch content of the games. The game boxes will tell you if there is a lot of violence, etc. Remember my rules regarding cartoons? They can be used here too. If your child is not mature enough, he or she should not be playing it. No matter if every other kid at school is already at level 57.
RPGs (Role Playing Games), LARPs (Live Action Role Playing), board and card games - There's good news and bad news. The good news is that board and card games are back. They're a great way to teach skills and encourage social interaction.
However, the new board and card games can have content issues. Watch for desensitization of violence. This seems to be a problem in games across the board. A card game like "Magic" requires the purchase of lots and lots of cards. And can have potential spiritual issues (see next section). Play these new games first. A lot of game and hobby shops will have times where customers can try games out first. Play these games with your kids.
I am the first to admit that RPGs and LARPs are fun. However, I don't think they are appropriate for very young children without a lot of oversight. They are problematic.
RPGs of any sort are addictive. Anyone who has stayed up very late playing one, either on computer or table top knows this. Do we want to introduce our kids to this before they are mature enough to handle it? That's why we limit their game system hours.
Depending on the game system and who is running the game, it is likely there will be violence and destruction. Do we really want our kids growing up thinking that the way to solve problems is to kill the bad guy and take his stuff (loot)? Until our kids are mature enough to understand the concept of fantasy vs. reality, then maybe they should wait.
Besides the violence, my other objection is the major introduction to non traditional religions, often portrayed in a positive way. If you are training your child in your spiritual beliefs this could be problematic. Especially when what is traditionally considered evil is being portrayed as good. Even if you are training your child to be atheist, this stuff is problematic until your children firmly understand fantasy vs. reality.
My overall advice is to hold off on RPGs until your kids are in their late teens. If you are involved in the gaming then you can oversee, but be prepared to explain a lot.
Like so much else in raising children, COMMUNICATE!!! Play the games with them. Talk about problem area. Set boundaries that all of you can live with. Do your job to make sure your kids stay safe and hopefully, aren't stupid.
And have fun with them!
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