Family Stories - The UN, Part 2

Family Stories

The UN, Part 2

     So very much happened while I was living with the UN that I started a timeline.  And started adding and adding things.  Then I realized that we were only together about a year.  Amazing!  And that year was pivotal in my development as an adult.  So, to look at at chronologically.

  I first moved in with Hattie in our little one bedroom place in January of 1972.  By March we had moved in with Roya and Henry.  Betty joined us a few weeks later.  It was in mid March that I made a trip up north that changed my life - I chose to become a Christian.  But that's another story.

   I did have one relationship that I should talk about.  Through a mutual friend I met a guy named Mike.  This guy had more charisma than anyone I had ever met.  And he used if for seduction.  Before I had time to think twice we were in bed.  The following day, while I was in the bath tub, of all places, I heard that still, small voice(some might call it intuition) telling me to get away from Mike. I kindly told Mike to go away.  And somehow his spell over me was broken.  He tried again, off and on for the next few years, but not happening.  Shortly after I left him, I found out that Mike was dating two sisters I knew from my high school.  There was so much anger and bitterness about Mike dating both of them that it tore the family apart.  I am so glad I managed to get away from that selfish gifted man who did not care what havoc he caused.  He might have even enjoyed it.  Shudder.

   School and work took over our lives mostly.  I remember one night the rest of them went clubbing in LA and had a legendary time at a notorious club.  But mostly we were focused on school.  Betty, now that she was away from her toxic family was the worst.  The word obsessive came to mind on more than one occasion.  

   But finally late May came and finals.  After may all nighters (courtesy of chemical means in Betty's case), we all finished up.  After months of frantic work Betty plopped down on the sofa and announced how relieved she was.  Not five minutes later she informed us that she was bored.  A barrage of pillows and such came flying her way.  I laughed a lot there.

   A lot of changes were happening.  Hattie had started dating her uncle's best friend.  Her uncle was one of the few relatives locally that she liked.  Her new boyfriend was a few years older than her and a Vietnam vet, like so many of the people my friends dated.  Bob was a good guy.  Hattie started spending weekends with him.  She hadn't told her local family, so they started calling our place, looking for her.  I am not good at lying to family about the whereabouts of roommates-especially about 2 hours before I want to be awake.  After a few weeks of that I informed Hattie that she needed to talk to her relatives.  Or else I would be honest the next time they called.  Hattie called and told her parents that she was dating Bob.  Since the family out here knew him, the early morning calls magically stopped.

   Roya and Henry had gotten engaged.  He had told his family about her finally, and they insisted.  She told her mom (and dad) and they insisted Roya bring him home for a visit.  So for the month of June Roya and Henry went to Iran.  It opened my eyes a bit more to how big the world really is.  Take mail.  Letters in Iran were not addressed like we do it here (and a lot of other places).  Instead, the address is actually directions to the house (in Farsi, of course).  Fascinating.

   Betty had gotten herself another job and had found herself a one bedroom place on the second floor of a small building.  I stayed in touch with her.  We're Christmas card friends, mostly.

   My own mom and dad had slowly worked their way through their divorce.  Mom had gotten over her breakdown and was now working at what became an amazing job for her.  I didn't see them very often and only talked to them on the phone upon occasion.  I was enjoying my freedom and didn't see any reason to return to the rigid rules of my prior life.

   I also got my first marriage proposal.  A friend of Roya's uncle (of course) was looking for a bride in order to get U.S. citizenship.  I made myself listen to his proposal, mostly so I could find out what the price of a bride was these days.  If I had been a mercenary, it would have been a sweet deal.  All of my expenses paid for, schooling paid for, a lock on my bedroom door, etc.  But I would have had to live with this guy for at least 5 years.  No deal!

  Once school got out I got myself a job at a local factory.  Whamo toy company was located in my home town and a lot of us worked there at one time or another.  My best friend from high school had already gotten married and moved to Minnesota.  So many of us from that group had scattered.  One of the group, Jim was working at Whamo and we reconnected.  He was still in love with Jeanie and that relationship was having issues.  I'll talk about Jim and Jeannie next week.

   The first part of the summer was busy.  Working, going out, stuff with friends, etc.  I actually had an active dating life for the first time.  It was sort of amazing.  It was like I had reinvented myself when I moved out and I liked who I was.

   About the middle of July Whamo did their usual layoffs.  The big orders were filled and they didn't need all of us anymore.  In a way I was glad, because the plant was mostly not air conditioned and I was not looking forward to the hot, hot days of August.  Besides, factory line work is hard!  I have no idea how many frisbees I helped package.  My mind boggles at the thought.

   My mom stepped in then and told me she wanted me to go visit my adopted brother Doug out in Huntsville, Alabama.  It seems the two of them had arranged a month long visit for me.  I had enough money to pay my bills here, so I went.  I wondered why mom was pushing so hard for me to go.

   My first trip to Huntsville was boring.  I lived with my brother in his 2 bedroom officer's attached house on the base.  I shared a bed with my niece, Vanessa.  My sister-in-law had a young baby, so I helped out with babysitting and house work.  And was bored a lot.  I had no car and didn't know anyone my own age.

   Eventually I did get into town and met people my own age.  This was the, please, please, please leave me at the mall for a few hours!  The first people I met were Robert and Mike.  Robert was handsome and charming and liked me.  Silly me, I fell in love.  It took me a long time to figure out that it really was me being in love with love, but at the time I thought it was the real thing.  And of course, I was scheduled to return home in a few days.

   Things were changing at home too.  Roya and Henry had passed inspection in Iran.  However, both families were now looking for a wedding.  And they wanted the two of them not sharing an apartment with two other women.  So while I was in Huntsville we moved to a small house back in my home town.   

   We all started back to school.  Both Roya and Henry were getting ready to transfer schools in a year.  Hattie and Bob were very serious.  Even though I was "in love" with Robert (and he kept promising to come out to CA to see me), I was also dating a guy I remet at my new job.

   Once again, I choose poorly,  My new guy, Bob, was a heroin addict.  I didn't know that when I first met him.  He was a Vietnam vet and had picked up the habit there.  He had already gotten himself into a cycle where he would use heaving, get in trouble (often jail) and have to detox. Once he was clean he would stay that way for several months.  Eventually he would start using again, just a little bit.  And it would go downhill from there.

   Dating him was an eyeopening nightmare.  At heart, Bob was a good guy.  He really liked me, but his love was a drug.  I learned that he would do anything he had to in order to have her.  I was lucky and was able to leave him before he got me using as well, but I could see the writing on the wall.  Learned a lot.

   Roya and Henry got married in our front room.  It was a very small wedding.  Hattie and Bob got engaged.  Since Betty was Jewish, she was, of course, dating a series of black men.  I told her that I expected her to marry some nice Jewish guy some day.  Eventually she married a remarkable Cuban Jew who had escaped from communist Cuba.

   Family pressure finally broke up the UN.  Roya and Henry got a small bedroom place.  Hattie and I got a small 2 bedroom place.  It was a short term arrangement.  She and Bob were getting ready to get married and she would move in with him then.  At that point I was planning to first visit my friend who had moved to Minnesota and then go to Huntsville to be with Robert.