Mamma Sandy Says
Drugs (Including Alcohol) & Teens
The teenage years are a time of experimenting-of testing. This is especially true regarding sex, drugs, and alcohol. Society tells them that all of those are bad, unless they are old enough, and use is within societal limits. Teens tend to live in packs of friends. Those packs, as well as much media, will question those limits.
School, church, youth groups, etc. will all tell your teen to avoid sex and drugs. And for some teens, that will be enough. But the reality is that what you say and the wxample ou give of your live will effect their choices on this the most.
That said, if you have a personal problem with drugs or alcohol, get help. Statistics show that adult children of alcoholics turn out to be either total non alcohol users (and sometimes rather vocal about it) or alcoholics themselves. Hard to find a happy medium. It's hard to teach what you aren't living yourself.
Let's take a practical look at what's out there. First let's look at drugs:
Marijuana is the most common, almost legal drug out there. There have been questions and concerns about it's use as long as I've been alive. It is not usually, as was believed, "The next step to heroin addiction." But it's not harmless either.
If you are a marijuana user yourself, make sure you set limits on your personal use. Help your children to understand that there is a difference between medical use and recreational use of this drug. If your children are around, there should not be recreational use going on. Marijuana is still illegal according to federal law. And exposing minors to marijuana and marijuana smoke is considered child endangerment.
What if your child or teen is sick with one of the diseases that marijuana can help? That's going to be up to you, the child, and the child's doctors. Good luck.
If you are not a marijuana user, make sure your children, especially your teens, know the difference between medical and recreational use of marijuana. Yes, I am aware that there is quite a bit of fraud in the medical marijuana industry. Your teens will know that too. Be real about it. Recreational use of marijuana for minors is illegal for good reasons. As with alcohol they do not have the experience to properly behave under it.
One of the deciding factors in marijuana use in teens should be the fact that it is still a felony under federal law. If the law changes, then they can rethink their stand.
Prescription drugs should not be used for recreational use!!! Not by teens and not by adults either. There are sound medical reasons why these drugs are only given out by prescription. Two of the biggest reasons are drug interactions and side effects. No two people respond to the same drug the same way. It has to do with body chemistry and highth/weight ratio. A 200 pound person will have a different response to a drug than a person half the size-especially with the same dosage. And remember that thing about how some allergy meds only work on certain people? That's the whole body chemistry thing.
When doctors prescribe drugs, they have the ability to look up side effects, potential drug interactions (with what you are already taking), and to figure out correct dosage based on you. A random pill taken from someone else's prescription does not have that safeguard. And I haven't even gotten into the dangers of consuming drugs from non-pharmacy sources. Unless you know where that drug was made and trust its manufacturer-don't take it!
As a parent, your examples are important. So don't take drugs from others. If you have pain, go see your doctor and get your own drugs!
Note: If your child or teen is on medications for ADHD, remind them NOT to share this med with others. Also, some prescription drugs are addictive either physically or psychologically.
Psychedelic type drugs are just not a good idea for teens. I'm talking about LSD, magic mushrooms, PCP, any of the mind altering drugs. If you are native American and want to consume peyote as part of a religious experience under the guidance of a shaman, that's one thing. But most psychedelic drug use is experimental and/or recreational. It is potentially dangerous to someone with un-triggered mental disorders. It can worsen already existing mental disorders. And almost all of them are illegal. And to top it off, manufacture is questionable. I once knew a man who sold what was supposed to be pure LSD. There was some LSD in the substance. But mostly it was PCP and a lot of people had bad trips and were looking for him afterwards. Just no.
The bad guys of the drug world are really bad. I'm talking about the heroin family (opium in all it's forms), the cocaine family, the meth family (speed, crack, etc.), and the PCP family (including special K). Many of these are highly addictive-physically as well as psychological. Just talk to a recovering junkie some day. Addicts do not generally have good lives and often die young. They have no loyalty except to the drug and their need for it.
Be honest with your teens about these drugs (and all of them actually). Denial is not a good thing here. It's ok to tell them stories about people you have known who have been drug users. Some people can make it out. Some won't. And they will have their own stories of people they knew who got caught up in drug use. Your goal is to make sure it's not them.
A final note on drugs. If you suspect your teen's friends are using drugs and/or alcohol, it's likely your teen is as well. Be gentle in how you approach this. But approach it you must. They might need more help than you can give. And they just might need encouragement in finding new (and sober) friends.
Alcohol use by teens is a tricky topic. The easy rule is that here in America no one can be served, or buy (or consume) alcohol until they are 21 years old. However, there are cultural variants. In many families it is considered normal for teens to have wine with certain meals. Consumption of a limited amount of alcohol may be part of a religious rite. And then there is the reality that most American teens do not wait until they are 21 to start drinking alcohol.
Things are done differently in parts of Europe. Young adults are able to drink beer and wine starting at 16 years of age. Hard alcohol is postponed until 21 years old. Driving a car and getting a license is also postponed until 21. And the young adults are taught proper alcohol drinking etiquette. That may be a better system.
Again, your example is crucial. My father was a WWII veteran, and when I was young he and mom would get together with other vet families. There was sometimes a lot of heavy drinking. That was almost a norm for the time. Yet it was controlled. The kids were always safe and kept away from the heavy drinking. They didn't do it every day. Or every weekend. I know of only 2 alcoholics who came from that group of friends, and both of them had pre-existing psychological baggage.
What I learned was there are times when it's ok to drink, but most of the time, it's not. If alcohol is taking over your life, get help and quit.
My parents were really very cleaver sometimes. When I was small, if I asked I was allowed a small sip, or a very, very watered down 1/3 shot glass of what they were drinking. The trick to this is to make sure that it's not a sweet drink. I remember sips of martinis and bitter beers. That was enough to convince me that my parents were a bit crazy to like that stuff. I still don't like martinis or bitter beers.
Note: If you are at a party where there is spiked and unspiked drinks, keep a close eye on your children. It is easy for them to get confused. Then you get to deal with a sick and drunk child.
Generally I don't think teens should be drinking. Certainly not with their friends. Most teens are not experienced enough to drink responsibly. And you, as the parent, are responsible to keep your kids safe.
If there is alcohol in your home, keep track of it. During their teen years using a marker to keep track of alcohol levels in bottles is not a bad idea. Remember, they or their friends can be sneaky. They may add water to hide usage.
Note: along these lines, keep track of prescription drugs as well. Especially anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs, pain killers, diet pills, etc. And don't forget cough medicine. I call this protecting your children by keeping them honest-limiting temptation.
Now that I've talked about the bad stuff, I want to mention habits that teens should develop.
Teens should be taking a daily multi vitamin. Their eating habits, combined with their rapid growth during this period means they really should make sure they are getting the vitamins and minerals they need.
If there are any doctor prescribed medications they should be taking them on time and with the right dosage. They are old enough to be doing this. Remind them as needed. Prescription medications can include birth control pills, which can be prescribed for other reasons. So don't freak out about it.
Your teens should be able to let you know when their prescription medications need to be refilled. And not just as they are taking the last ones! They need to learn to let you know several days in advance.
Lastly, teach your children, especially your teens that mind altering substances are not necessary to have a good time.
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