Christmas With Mom's Family
There are 4 Thursdays in December, so I'm going to give you four different sets of Christmas tales. Today I'm going to talk about the childhood Christmas celebrations I remember with my Mom's family.
When I was young, the part of my mom's family that lived in California got together twice a year - summer camping at Yosemite and Christmas. For Christmas we would get together the weekend before December 25th. Sometimes we'd get lucky and be able to get together on Christmas Day itself, but we always worked it out.
The group consisted of Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Ralph and Aunt Bette, Aunt Alice and Uncle Murray, Aunt Louise and Uncle Paul, and my parents, Joan and Jack. Plus all of us cousins. If all of us came, there would be 20 of us. My uncle Del and his new wife Carla didn't make it to these events. I suspect he was still working through some anger at his mom. My mom and Aunt Louise were in pretty good contact with him though and he eventually started showing up again.
By the time I was born both Grandma and Grandpa were retired. My grandfather was an insulin dependent type 2 diabetic, with a lot of other health issues. Both he and my grandmother were also showing signs of what we would now call dementia. With my grandparents in uncertain health, the family stuff was organized by the siblings. The four active with Christmas planning agreed to take turns hosting the event. Somehow my Aunt Louise always had some excuse why she couldn't host the event. Not a surprise to anyone. Now was it when she and her family would show up at the host's house, sleeping bags in hand.
My family lived only one town over from my Aunt Alice, so we saw a lot of them. It also meant that Christmas at either of our houses was a simple thing. When my Uncle Ralph hosted we trekked up to Fresno, CA. My parents got a motel room nearby, but I got to bed down in the front room near the fireplace with my cousins. We all eventually got to sleep, but it was a lot of fun.
The favorite site (according to my cousins) was my house. We had a great back yard, but the real draw was the large add-on room in the back of the house that was my dad's sanctuary. For the holiday season he would put up his large train layout. It was big enough for buildings, scenery and could run two trains at once! For us kids my dad would put together a small round track in the dining room. I was put in charge of it by the time I was five. This rather irritated some of my older cousins. But I knew my cousin Pat. He was a mischief maker and would deliberately crash the train if he could.
Since there was a large number of people, the adults would draw names. Everyone got presents for Grandma and Grandpa, but otherwise they just got for the family whose name they drew. Not fun having to shop for my Aunt Alice and her 6 kids, but we all took turns.
Everyone helped with the food as well. And the clean up. And yes, we had a kids table. All of us had black and white televisions then (not the luxury of color yet), and not many choices, so no tv during meals and during most of the event. I should mention here that all the adults in the family drank alcohol in those days. It was a social norm. My Uncle Murray was the closest to a teetotaler, so things were calmer when he was around, but never too outlandish. My Aunt Louise has been known to drink, but sometimes she would decide that her husband Paul, needed to stay sober. No idea why, just my Aunt. One time she had decided that Uncle Paul should only have one drink during the party. My dad, who tolerated Louise at best, decided to "help." Every time Paul's glass started to go down a little my dad would quietly refill it when Louise wasn't looking. Paul got drunker and drunker as the night went on. Louise kept asking him if that was another drink. Paul could truthfully say that it was the same, only drink she had demanded. My dad was still laughing about that years later.
It was an interesting collection of people. Aunt Alice was a sweetheart. Uncle Murray was, well, Uncle Murray. I'll tell a classic story about him next. Ralph and Bette were both passionate people. Their fights were legendary, but they were very much in love the rest of the time. Uncle Paul was easy going (he had to be married to Louise!) and handled Aunt Louise well. Mostly all of them got along well. I say mostly. The one fly in the ointment was Uncle Murray. He was an efficiency expert who was sure he knew how the world should be. How Alice put up with him was a mystery to the rest of us, but she loved him and knew how to maneuver around him.
Murray loved to aggravate people. He would deliberately say and do things to make people angry. And with the Irish tempers in our family that was sometimes pretty easy to do. Murray had managed to upset several holiday parties in a row, the most recent being at his own home. The rest of the family (leaving Alice out of it) talked about it privately and decided that Murray would not upset the next Christmas!
The next Christmas celebration was at my house. As usual, Alice, Murray, and their 6 kids were late. This had given the adults time to finalize their plan. It was a simple plan. No one was going to argue with Murray that year. The group also decided to keep Murray away from Grandpa as well. Grandpa was off limits as a target! To prove how serious they were they all agreed - the first person who got into a verbal fight with Murray would have to pay for the liquor for the weekend!
It wasn't easy, but somehow everyone kept their tempers. There was a lot of "Interesting idea Murray. Excuse me, I think my wife is looking for me." We kids were used as an excuse too. Murray just wasn't having any fun. As soon as the gifts were given out, Murray was rushing his family out the door to go home. Aunt Alice was heard to state, "But we were all having such a good time..." Murray didn't try that again.
Years later at a family reunion at Alice and Murray's house my mom was telling this story to a bunch of my cousins (both Alice and Murray were out of the room). At the end two of Alice's kids stated, "So that's what happened! We wondered for years why we had to leave the party early!"
I'll tell more about my mom's family and Christmas in a few weeks.
Since there was a large number of people, the adults would draw names. Everyone got presents for Grandma and Grandpa, but otherwise they just got for the family whose name they drew. Not fun having to shop for my Aunt Alice and her 6 kids, but we all took turns.
Everyone helped with the food as well. And the clean up. And yes, we had a kids table. All of us had black and white televisions then (not the luxury of color yet), and not many choices, so no tv during meals and during most of the event. I should mention here that all the adults in the family drank alcohol in those days. It was a social norm. My Uncle Murray was the closest to a teetotaler, so things were calmer when he was around, but never too outlandish. My Aunt Louise has been known to drink, but sometimes she would decide that her husband Paul, needed to stay sober. No idea why, just my Aunt. One time she had decided that Uncle Paul should only have one drink during the party. My dad, who tolerated Louise at best, decided to "help." Every time Paul's glass started to go down a little my dad would quietly refill it when Louise wasn't looking. Paul got drunker and drunker as the night went on. Louise kept asking him if that was another drink. Paul could truthfully say that it was the same, only drink she had demanded. My dad was still laughing about that years later.
It was an interesting collection of people. Aunt Alice was a sweetheart. Uncle Murray was, well, Uncle Murray. I'll tell a classic story about him next. Ralph and Bette were both passionate people. Their fights were legendary, but they were very much in love the rest of the time. Uncle Paul was easy going (he had to be married to Louise!) and handled Aunt Louise well. Mostly all of them got along well. I say mostly. The one fly in the ointment was Uncle Murray. He was an efficiency expert who was sure he knew how the world should be. How Alice put up with him was a mystery to the rest of us, but she loved him and knew how to maneuver around him.
Murray loved to aggravate people. He would deliberately say and do things to make people angry. And with the Irish tempers in our family that was sometimes pretty easy to do. Murray had managed to upset several holiday parties in a row, the most recent being at his own home. The rest of the family (leaving Alice out of it) talked about it privately and decided that Murray would not upset the next Christmas!
The next Christmas celebration was at my house. As usual, Alice, Murray, and their 6 kids were late. This had given the adults time to finalize their plan. It was a simple plan. No one was going to argue with Murray that year. The group also decided to keep Murray away from Grandpa as well. Grandpa was off limits as a target! To prove how serious they were they all agreed - the first person who got into a verbal fight with Murray would have to pay for the liquor for the weekend!
It wasn't easy, but somehow everyone kept their tempers. There was a lot of "Interesting idea Murray. Excuse me, I think my wife is looking for me." We kids were used as an excuse too. Murray just wasn't having any fun. As soon as the gifts were given out, Murray was rushing his family out the door to go home. Aunt Alice was heard to state, "But we were all having such a good time..." Murray didn't try that again.
Years later at a family reunion at Alice and Murray's house my mom was telling this story to a bunch of my cousins (both Alice and Murray were out of the room). At the end two of Alice's kids stated, "So that's what happened! We wondered for years why we had to leave the party early!"
I'll tell more about my mom's family and Christmas in a few weeks.
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