Mama Sandy Says
Holiday Traditions
Traditions, in general can be good, bad, and/or both. That's because traditions are thing that have been done before and carry memories.
How do traditions get started? Often by wanting to repeat a pleasurable prior experience. For example, when I was 13 my family discovered an area of Christmas lights we hadn't known about before. It was so remarkable, and so fun to walk around, that we chose to do it again. And again. When I married, I brought my new husband and then our children on this now traditional adventure. I plan to do it again this holiday season. My daughter introduced her husband to our tradition last year and they should be joining me.
Do traditions end of change? Absolutely? Especially traditions centered around the November/December holidays. Things like where we celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas depend on who was still alive and living where. When I was a child the holidays rotated between our house and that of my grandparents, great grandparents, and my mom's siblings. As the older generation died, all that changed. By the time I married, Christmas Eve was with my mom, Christmas Day with his family and/or my dad. Once we had kids, things changed again. Christmas Eve with my mom until she moved to Arizona. Christmas morning at our house. And we rotated. Now that I'm divorced things have changed again. And it will change again, since my kids are settling down.
So many things can be traditional during the holidays. Here's a short list.
1. Thanksgiving
2. Church service plans
3. Local events
4. Buying of the Christmas tree
5. How to decorate the home
6. Parties to attend
7. Gifts-who buys, how to wrap, etc.
8. Christmas stockings
9. Special stuff-theme parks, theater plays, etc.
10. Lighting displays
11. Tamale making
12. Hannaukah
13. Kwanza
14. Charity work
This year I am reevaluating my holiday traditions. Here are some guidelines that I'm using:
1. Does this specific tradition need to change?
2. What is important about this tradition? What do I want to keep?
3. What do others (my adult children especially) say about this tradition?
4. Do I need to scrap this tradition? Or do I just need to revamp it?
Note: When changing traditions, give yourself time to mourn the loss of how the tradition used to be.
Sometimes you can choose to add traditions, not just have it happen. I have looked for local events for years. The good ones become traditions. Last weekend, for example, I attended two local events that have become traditional for me now. Candy Cane Land is a combination craft fair and children's event. They use local volunteers, especially for the kid stuff and everyone has fun. I love watching the kids go down the snow slide. In the evening I went to Winter Wonderland, put on by a local church. No craft fair, but 4 food trucks (besides other food), local community booths, a kids snow slide and a snow ball area. And two stages. Good times. I will go back to both next year.
Changes in your life can cause you to to want to make changes. Since my daughter works at Sea World I now have a pass, so a new tradition is to visit there during the holidays. I don't have a Disneyland pass anymore, so I'm not going to visit there. Maybe visit Downtown Disney, depends on time.
The big cause of change for me this year is my mom's illness. She's in a convalescent hospital now and unable to join us for most of the holiday. So I'm doing things differently. Sometimes, when I'm doing things we used to do together, it can make me melancholy. But I know that, so I plan for it. New events, that mom and I haven't done together, or old events done differently. It all helps. Keep yourself busy.
But most of all, have fun!
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